The Weekend

As the result of having a very poor social week last week, I decided that over the weekend I would make up for the week's social inactivity but cramming as much as I could into Saturday.

Thankfully, Katerina was here to assist me in this goal and we spent the day together.

Actually, If I begin with Friday night, Katerina and I went out for drinks with Aliena.

A nice enough, if unfamiliar group of people. A quiet drink.

And, as per usual, men made eyes at Katerina all night long, despite a few of them thinking that we were in fact, a couple. Forgoogdesssakes!

And, yes there was a Scottish hottie among the crowd.

Alright, I'll admit it...Once I've had a drink or two (or even when I haven't), i find is remarkably easy to ask questions of a sexual nature openly and without much shame. And so I asked the Scotsman something that has plagued my mind for a number of months.

'Tell me something' I said, 'Up in Scotland, how do people pronounce the word pussy?'

As his face grew red, I began to laugh, as did Katerina and the others around the table.

'I mean, is it Puss-e or Pooosey? And how might you say 'Can I like your pussy?'

'Well, I don't really use that word' said the boy, 'we say F.A.N.N.Y'

'Or Cunt', ventured Aliena

'Oh no!, not that word!' Sigh.

'Can I lick yer fanney?'

'And Pussy?'

'Pussy'.

'You mean they don't say Poosy?' at which point there must have been a hint of defeat in my voice.

So there we have it folks.

At 4 in the morning, after a night full of discussion and debate on subjects ranging from anal sex to bullying, Aliena, Katerina and I went to bed, alone.

And in the morning, we woke up later than usual before Mr ProPlus came over with his cycle which had broken.

That's correct, Mr ProPlus cycles everywhere. Whether it be a trip to Waitrose or a night out on the lash, Mr ProPlus takes his bicycle along. I, on the other hand, rely heavily on the London Underground to get me around, and thus far, I haven't been disappointed.

So, we all went for a coffee, and I, for a mint choc Frappo and Chocolate whirl cupcake.

'The last few times I've had one night stands I have felt completely dissatisfied' said Mr ProPlus, 'What i would like to do is to court a girl'.

At this point, the cupcake nearly lodged itself in my throat.

At which point, I wondered, after 1963 did anybody 'court' anybody?

Wasn't it all about the clubbing, the grinding and then the riding? Long gone were the days where men would wine and dine ladies, pay for everything and open every door. Or so I'd imagined.

But here, on 17th November 2007 we have a man declare that he wish to 'court' a girl. To put aside his sexual urges for, dare I say it, something more fulfilling.
Needless to say, my whore-like tendencies place me outside the realms of this school of thought, but what interests me is why a man who is 24 would want to settle, marry and have children (something also stated by Mr ProPlus on this occasion).

Is unfulfiling sex really an indicator that it's time to look for something long term and slow moving? Is sex out and love back in again?

Needless to say, this is most certainly an area of debate I'll be keeping my tabs on.

Having said this, as a more general observation, there are an awful lot of people i know, who are my age, who are marrying themselves off and having honeymoons in the Bahamas.

And as for being open minded, this is something I doubt I'll ever be able to get my head around. This need for commitment and regularity that people have. This need to remortgage their house in order to afford a lavish affair where gold leaves drape from the ceiling.

No, I just can't seem to get my head out of the gutter.

***

And then, Katerina and I

a) went to Chinatown and bought an awfully good selection of authentic Chinese ingredients

b) went to catch 'Elizabeth - The Golden Age' (which I thought was magnificent) - Cate Blanchett in a wig and corset, any day of the week.

c) at 2 in the morning, went to a club called Metra in Leicester Square and danced until 4 in the morning at which point we returned home and fell asleep, exhausted. Yes lots of men oogled Katerina and there were also a a fair few Indian snake charmers present who thought that pointed hands in the air and swirling hops might be the way into Katerina's bed. Needless to say it wasn't.

All in all, however, I consider this to be one of the most productive weekends I've had in the past few months. And most enjoyable.