Marriage

Now that I'm nearing my mid-twenties, it seems only inevitable that certain of my relatives will start to wonder:

a) why I'm still single after all of these years
b) Whether it would be a good idea to start introducing eligible girls into my three mile radius

'Oh look, you're so grown up now' said my granny last weekend. I think what she was saying was that my new mack style coat makes me look older than my years. Instead, she said 'I almost feel like it's time to find a girl'.

'Er, no' I said, in one of those perfectly practised flat tones which give off a sense of authority and empathy both in one.

'Oh no, no, I mean, we would never...I would never say anything to you about marriage' she continued.

'Hmm, can I have a packet of Hula hoops?' I asked, and made my way to the kitchen, quickly.

And why do parents and grandparents think it appropriate and perfectly acceptable to say things like

'If you get married, I'll at least get to see my grandchildren before I die!'

'You will give me chance to go to your wedding, won't you?'

'I want a grandchild!!'

It all seems bang out of order to me, all this exercise of parental power. Who do they think they are!?