The tale of the Merry-Go-Women

Artesius’s GirlF told him she feels he has the characteristics of a cheater.

On the other end of town, he met up with The Ex, yet again, and she declared love for him, yet again. This time she went further and suggested that she had always thought they would end up together. All very well, until she, like so many bunny boilers past and present, rummaged through his phone when he wasn’t looking. yurkiddinme!

On reading text messages from Artesuis’s GirlF (their relationship of which she has little idea), and The Stripper #1, The Ex pounced on him, declaring him a lying cheat who she unable to understand and could probably do without.

And then they parted ways, until later that night she text and call him frantically in an attempt to get him to go back to her place where, the weak female she is, she would have fucked him regardless.

Now, I’m all for having irons (Note: plural) in the fire. But occasionally, it seems only likely that Artesuis will get burned in the process of female-juggling.

At the same time as this (which is only natural), Stripper #1 has been texting and calling and the pair have been meeting and drinking, everything but fucking, although I’m sure it won’t take long.

‘She’s entering girlfriend territory’ said Artesuis over work email only the other day. I’m guessing by this he means she’s becoming territorial (and rightly so, now that he’s told her he’s single and just come out from a ‘long term thing’).

She’s probably seeing him more as a friend, slowly as a lover and perhaps this delusion is fuelled by the fact that they have yet to sleep with each other. We all know how girls like to think they’re ‘special’. That men will only sleep with them when there’s a real connection and understand that they aren’t as their profession might suggest, a ‘piece of meat’.

That reminds me, I love that turn of phrase ‘a piece of meat’. It reminds me of good wholesome food, delicious, pink, edible, perfect. Why so many people find the term derogatory is beyond me. I’d rather somebody treated me like a piece of meat as opposed to a sack of potatoes, or a can of soup.

So, back to Artesius. Stripper #1 trying to fit into the role of GirlF, The Ex bunny boiling as usual and trying hard to leave him/obtain him, and then The GirlF who, among other things, has suggested that they get the same phone. This, she suggested, would be a declaration of their true love. Sort of like couples with matching clothes. Super Cool.

Thankfully Artesius saw through this trap rather quickly. What the GirlF actually wanted
was to be able to ‘accidentally’ switch the phones around and rummage through his messages in the hope that she find some pictures of another woman’s fanny hidden in the files - What she didn’t realise was that, the last time she had access to his phone, if she had clicked a few other buttons and found that file, there would have been the evidence she required - pictures of Stripper #1’s fanny.

Also, the GirlF has decided to ‘let him stay in the flat alone for a month before she joins him’.

Yet another ploy in the game of relationship. Of course we all know that once she moves in, she’ll be parading up and down looking for any hair that are longer than hers, an condoms which haven’t been inside her, any sign of multiple glasses, or lipstick stains, or cum stains.

And of course, we assume she already has the keys for the flat. She might just turn up one day in the hope of finding Artesius with his pants down, Stripper #1 strutting her stuff down the banister (I’m assuming Artesius has a banister).

And last, but by no means least, we have Stripper #2, who, I believe, simply fancies him and who he is likely to remain in stripper territory, as far away from GirlF territory as possible.

Some boys have all the fun.