Before you do anything, visit the Internet and search for Gay Saunas in London. Read reviews and carefully select one you feel would serve you best.
Step 1 - Enter, be confident in your sexual self. There is nothing desperate, dirty or odd about what you're doing. It's all just another experience, another rung on the ladder of sexual emancipation.
Step 2 - Pay at the door (prices normally vary between £10 and £15 depending on the range of facilities. Most importantly, don't forget to flash your NUS card if you have one as Sauna surfing can often cut into an otherwise tightly constrained student budget.
Step 3 - Now that you've paid, feel safe in the knowledge that you can stay there as long as you like. If you want to be one of those men who firmly believes £15 entitles him to a shag (solid law), be one, unashamedly.
Step 4 - Take the towel they will provide you with (two if you're lucky), your locker key and get undressed leaving everything in the locker but a towel (which should now be firmly around your waist) and the locker key. Do not walk around wearing boxers because the chances are that you will be the only one doing so and look a complete prude - yes you, who have gone to a sauna, only to keep your boxers on. If it is your first time, you may want to keep shorts on for fear of that stupendous erection that may arise, so to speak, without you willing it to. However, be warned, you will be the only one.
Step 5 - Explore. Take some time to familiarise yourself with the place you have paid £15 to gain admittance to. Take a look at everything, every room, every corridor, every sauna, steam room, everything. For, only through doing this, will you become aware of which areas you feel most suited to/comfortable in.
Step 6 - Now that you've found your area - sit down and relax. You are at a sauna, the purpose of which is to provide for relaxation. Even if you get laid, sex is just another form of relaxation/stress relief. Understand this, know this.
Most Saunas have a chill out are where there are TVs and Sofa's - porn magazines etc...for you to relax.
Most will have actual saunas and steam rooms for actual body-detoxing.
Some will have 'dark rooms' - in which there is very little light and in which people venture and try to find some cock without really caring what that cock may be attached to. Some people really like this sort of stuff. It's very adventurous and, in turn, very horny, very liberating.
Most saunas have small cubicles and rooms which you can go into if you find somebody you'd like to have some fun with.
Step 7 - The Process
Walk around the complex as and when you feel like it. Do it over and over again until you stumble across something that interests you. Gay Saunas in general have a good turnover of men and action and the time you spent sitting in the spa might better have been spent partaking in the orgy that took place in the steam room. Things happen quickly and stop just as quickly. You have to be on the ball, so to speak. Nobody is there to judge you, they are there to see if they like you, and if they do, to see if they can fuck you.
Step 8 - The Signs
Men are fairly straight forward in these situations. If they like you they will
a) try and catch your eye and smile or
b) try to run their hand over your cock or up your thigh.
If you don't like them just be polite and say no or remove their hand. Conversely, if you like them, you might consider doing the same. Be prepared for rejection as everybody has to suffer it. That stud you would love to suck off just might not be in Latinos. Deal with it. Move on. Suffering heartbreak and nursing a heartbreak are better done at home with the tele on and X Factor playing in the background, NOT in a sauna.
If you keep someone's gaze for more than five seconds the chances are you're on. You two can then find a room and do whatever is it you're comfortable with.
Sex can happen anywhere...in the sauna, steam room, lounge, pool (if they have one) anywhere. You have to be prepared to be faced with orgies potentially anywhere.
Once inside the room, most guys don't fuck and instead prefer to do some sucking and wanking. Sometimes you might like to be fucked and they might want to give it to you, in which case you can go from there. At any point, it's fine to say no. It's fine to leave.
Step 9 - Use protection
Lube, condoms, all of these things are available in their masses at Saunas, so use them. The last thing you want is to catch a disease which'll leave your bell end oozing creamy substances for weeks on end (just to confirm that was pus I was talking about and nothing else).
Some guys enjoy bareback sex, but if you do, be prepared for the worst.
Note: The thing i find most annoying is that people who attend saunas don't talk. They tend to move around and look, cruise, grunt, smile, anything but talk. This is something that bugs me, after all, once somebody opens their mouth, they can, all of a sudden become so much more enticing.
Step 10 - The Code
Sometimes you will find guys sitting alone in rooms -
a) if they are lying on their stomach, its an indication that they want to be fucked.
b) if they are standing, anything will go, or perhaps just some sucking and wanking
c) if there are two people having sex with the door ajar, you can either go in and watch or partake - people will always make it clear what they're after.
Step 11 - Remember
You are biting the bullet/taking the plunge, so why not do it whole heartedly? Enjoy whatever the experience has to offer, if anything, and try and make the most out of it. You are now firmly embedded in the sexual undergrowth of London. Welcome.
Thursday, November 01, 2007
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