Snow White

Some of you have expressed shock and surprise at my re-telling of Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs. It's almost as though you weren't aware of Snow's sex life. Of course, I've known all along.

This is precisely what the words 'happily ever after' refer to. A rampant and satisfying sex life. Don't tell me you thought she was celibate? A virgin eats a poisonous apple. A virgin suffers a near death experience. A virgin wakes up to find a Prince buy her side. A virgin suddenly realises that importance of living. A virgin marries as quickly as possible in order to obtain complete sexual emancipation. Marriage is required so as not to offend her Uncle, the Pope. Snow spent her entire life thinking of others, and it is only now that she is faced with a life that seems so precious that she decides to take it completely into her own hands.

Bravo!