The kiss

A kiss is something you cannot
give without taking and cannot
take without giving.
-Anonymous-

You may conquer with the sword,
but you are conquered by a kiss.
-Daniel Heinsius (1580-1655)-

The decision to kiss for the first time is the
most crucial in any love story. It changes the
relationship of two people much more strongly
than even the final surrender; because this kiss
already has within it that surrender.
-Emil Ludwig (1881-1948)-

There seems to be this obsession that gay men have with kissing their partner's neck over their mouth. I've noticed it myself. Back in the day of 'the rumble' I too kissed the boy's neck. For fear of what mouth to mouth resuscitation might bring to life.

I wonder whether if perhaps it's the same for heterosexual couples. Or indeed for lesbians? I wonder whether the neck is the closest we can go to the mouth without unraveling too much, without giving too much of ourselves away. When you kiss somebody you're totally connected. In that moment, you must be incredibly confident in the state of affairs, or sloshed. You have to be at ease in order to kiss somebody on the lips. A forced kiss isn't really a kiss, afterall. It's more a slurp.

So, why do people do it? Is kissing really that scary? Why do people always go for the neck. Licking and sucking it. It's probably just as erotic as kissing if not more, however with a much lower fear factor. Kissing somebody doesn't commit your soul to them. Perhaps we're still in the state of assuming that when two openings merge, something from one, namely our soul, will slip quite happily into the other. And how exactly do you get it back once it's gone?

Would I be correct in assuming that kissing on the lips is something requiring more guts than people give it credit for? I recall a conversation with Adrian not so long ago where she put her unhappiness with a current suitor (at the time), down to his inability to offer her a kiss after four dates. Maybe he was frightened. Maybe he was shy. Maybe he thought Adriana would judge his kiss. I wonder if Cher is right. Is it really all in his kiss?

On another note, went to watch 'The History Boys' tonight with a fellow cultural butterfly de Bengal. It was hilarious. Perfect. About of group of grammar school boys and their quest of securing a place at Oxbridge. And all with a huge homosexual undercurrent. I don't know about you dear readers, but films don't get much better than this. It made me laugh and think. For all the slack these Oxbridge types put up with, I sometimes wish I was nearly as rounded, as clever. What it means to understand where you came from, your history, and to mould this into your future. To understand the world, how it was, how it is, how is will be, and to really achieve something unique, that must be the way forward. Surely.