Facebook

It has been said too often for me to remain silent.
C1 wants me to join Facebook. Cordelia also wants me to join Facebook. In fact, it appears the entire universe is on a mission to have me sign up to that whore endorsement campaign.

‘Why don’t you join face book? You’ve SIMPLY GOT to join it, it’s awesome, it’s amazing’ said C1 with that look of puppy bitch bewilderment. She actually felt sorry for me. That I hadn’t yet stumbled on the virtues of having my best photo online for the world and his mistress to see.

She looked at me the way one might look at their sister upon hearing that Rackhams won’t refund that dreadful dress she bought without their permission.

Upon giving her my look of great pity beyond relief C1 continued to glare. If you’re going to offer me pity, why can’t it be accompanied by you signing yourself up to Facebook? Sort of look.
Of late, it has been featuring in my sleep. Facebook, Facebook, Facebook, said a thousand times over by the girls I often hear ogling over it during the day.

Cordelia (now this does surprise me) offered a slightly different take on matters: ’It’s private so that only your friends can see your photos and nobody else.’ Cordelia quite clearly forgot the likelihood of anybody in this world viewing face book for their own private pleasures. It’s normally done with a group of perving men or ladies flicking between a thousand screens, pointing out who looks fit and who doesn’t. And just when you thought your life couldn’t possibly get any worse, it transpires that the whole world is somehow related and that life is, after all, one big episode of Eastenders.

‘You mean, you’re his friend too?’ a girl jumped up and down on her chair causing the silent study area in the library to undergo a sudden change of meaning.
So yes, his friend is also your friend and his sister in fact knows the ’fittest girl on the whole of Facebook’. So now, you know that guy who she thinks is really hot, well you can go and harm him and have the girl all to yourself. Wicked!

And let’s not forget, it’s all photos! For people to judge. Good looking, not good looking, ugly, in need of a chemical facial peel urgently. Facebook is a perving facility. It’s no wonder the perv gang at uni have all signed up. In fact, it wouldn’t surprise me if they were in fact the founding fathers.

And to think, all of the people who ridicule this blog for being too open and explicit. Ha. I bet you’re all on Facebook aren’t you?