SEX: defined

Two lesbians walk into a bar...

Later that night, back at Lesbian No1's flat, they are about to emark on a rampant journey of womenly fornication. Lesbian No2, at this point, gets out her vibrator (which is pink, glossy, half bumpy/half smooth, with an inbuilt sound card which plays 'Barbie girl' by Aqua). As she is about to slip it inside, Lesbian No1 recoils in horror...

'Isn't this ''straight'' sex?

Now, The Dame and I have had this chat many many a time. Whilst The Dame insists that anything which actually, or creatively shows itself to be a phallus penetrating a vagina automatically identifies 'hetero sex', I myself fight fearlessly against this proposition.

The Dame thinks that if you insert a dildo into your lesbian pussy, you are somehow being unfaithful to the lesbian race. Now why would you do that? She herself doesn't like the idea of a vibrator for this reason alone. That, in using such a contraption, she is becomming something she is not, something that goes against the oath of Gayism.

Now, what do you think? Is there such a thing as Hetero Sex and Homo Sex? And can this be defined by what goes into what? What about the straight bendy boys who like things up their bottom? What about the Gay male who loathes anal sex? What about the Lesbian with a rampant rabbit or two (Maybe even, if the physics allow, both at the same time (M should be able to clarify the science)), What about the girl who is a phantom pantie- grabbing masturbator? Are these people in need of a sexual re definition? Is the straight boy really gay?

I myself prefer to think of sex as one big all-encompassing w(hole). And within this sphere we have a thousand different fetishes, toys and sexual positions. And the aim of my sexual revolution is merely to open up all the doors, so that we can go wherever we like without fear of any queues (Still so bitter about last night). I think sex is one, forms are many...Sort of the like Hinduism. One God many forms. Almost interchangeable.

So, what do we think? Is there such a thing as hetero sex? Can you be a true lesbian if you require a plastic phallus to get you off? Is a dildo even really a cock?

Dear readers, I need some answers....