critical period

And now, back to normal.

Desdemona has become an aunt to a beautiful niece. I haven’t seen her as yet; though all babies are beautiful I’m sure. Each one. In his or her own way.

One thing this child has been blessed with is an aunt who is likely to spoil her and, as she grows older, teach her the art of love and sex. This is precisely what the youth of today require. A decent role model. Somebody to look up to, unashamedly.

Congratulations to Desdemona’s family.

To think, there are people in this world for whom the sole purpose of sex is procreation. As sexy as sex for recreation is, I’m always amazed that it can produce another human being. Somebody completely new. Somebody for whom life is full, to the brim, of infinite possibility.

This has me thinking. Years ago I studied psychology. Might explain this compulsive need to analyse. I learnt that there is a critical period for all children in which they should try to form strong bonds with the people around them. These bonds then act as templates for future relationships the child has. An unsuccessful critical period could therefore lead to dysfunctional future relationships.

I wonder whether relationships and, most importantly, virginity, have a similar critical period. If we don’t have sex during our teenage years, are we doomed for a difficult ride through the streets of desire once we hit the big 20. One thing I’m sure of is that things don’t get any easier. The older you are the more likely to need a great confidence boost. And though I advocate strongly against offering your virginity the way you would a mars bar in your packed lunch, at least it’ll be done. A quick rough and tumble and you’re past stage 1. Then you can get on with cultivating your sex life.

The problem I have is that I don’t want to give it to just anybody, even though I know that doing so would ease me into a rampant sex life. I guess I have always figured that the flower I’ve fed and watered for 22 years shouldn’t be given to somebody for whom it would mean very little. My virginity, more than myself, deserves better.

So, this critical period does exist, I’m sure of it, after which things become much more complex. But also, what time offers us is a choice. I now have a choice. It’s much harder to develop a choice in these matters when so much boils down to social norms and pressure. I have it, it means a great deal and I will be damned if I let it fizzle out at the drop of some trousers.

The only difference is, the critical period, whilst providing ease of manoeuvre in your life, won’t damage the eventual sex life you embark upon. If anything, you’ll have thought about it so much, stewed over it so much that it’ll be as though you’d been doing it all along.