Searching

I've put it off far too long.

60 replies! That's the kind of interest an ad placed on gumtree can generate. I need to get in on the action.

Where to begin:

What do I look like: (Bare in mind this is an exercise in effective marketting)
5 ft 8, slender, anglo indian, dark hair and eyes, some facial hair, stylish/well dressed (well I am)

What do I want:

A) In a woman
- Somebody intelligent who knows how to explore the realms of desire.
- Somebody willing to show a virgin how to get stuck in via a guided tour of the lady garden. (can't afford an admission fee, must be free entry).
- Slim, attractive, caucasian or asian (what turns me on the most for now), clean (so very important).
- Open minded with very few sexual inhibitions.
- Pretty pussy is also a must. Something that looks nice and edible. Hairy ponds of flesh need not apply.
-Medium sized breasts.

B)In a man
- All of the above, just with a nice clean average or above average phallus.
- Must be a master in the slut profession. (A PHD will put you miles ahead of your competitors ..no really....it will.)
- A certain level of controlled experience is also imporant.

What do I want to do.

Learn, through a decent sexual partner/number of partners, how to become the world's greatest lover. I want somebody who is willing to teach and be taught through a string of sensuous, exhilirating and tasty experiences.

Ofcourse, we can start it all with a drink. It's a shame, but I doubt I could go through with this while completely sober. Sloshed is also a bad thing. We need a swaying middle. A few bricks pulled from the dam.

Right, so there we are, the contents of the ad. It still lacks a little something. A bloody mary without the dash of Worcester Sauce, wouldn't you agree.

And now for the science of ad formulation:

'Hi there,

About me: 22, slender, Anglo Indian, 5 foot 8, dark hair and eyes. Recently moved to London, five weeks old to be precise! Enjoying the freedom and searching for a use to which I can put the freedom. Open minded, into 'culture' (reading things and watching things), looking for an enticing sexual experience from which I can learn something useful.

About you: 21-25 years old. Caucasian or Anglo Asian, Slim, well kept, clean, open minded. Sexually experienced or atleast very eager to learn. Two virgins should, by the theory of negatives, equal a positive highly thrilling orgasm. Somebody intelligent who can see beyond the sex, even whilst we're having it..! Would prefer curves of an average size to flatness. Above all, cleanliness and a pretty lady garden where you'll be willing to take me for a long guided walk.

You have to be good at sex, regardless of whether it's in the mind or the body. I want a sexual goddess. That's the most important thing. I want somebody who is a master and a slave rolled into one.

If any of the above sounds like you, or even close, please please get in touch. Will try and respond to each advert as soon as possible, though might take a day or two as I'm a busy chappy these days.

Kind regards'

Right, let's see what kind of response this one generates. In fact, I dread to think..

I shall post it up now and keep you informed on the response(s).

Let the recruitment process begin.