For those of you who are new to this blog ( a mighty welcome from myself). Below is a list of the characters for your information. Enjoy.
The Dame:
Lesbian (though am trying to rub the slate clean).Friend of many years, fellow pioneer of the lose-all-sexual-inhibitions-without-fear-of-the-Lord revolution. Slag of the mind, and on a journey to becoming a slag of the body, minutes before she is catapulted into sainthood and becomes a slag of the soul. Can't do a push up, though will try everything at least once. Also, not into red meat (now, that's clearly wrong on many many levels). Looks like a hip lesbian cross bred with a polite glue sniffer. Lessons to learn: All comes to those who actively go out and get it. The longer your vagina remains unprodded, the longer your confidence will suffer. Go out and embrace obsessively.
Desdemona:
A true slag, uninhibited, wonderful. Very similar to me on the sex level. Though, quite surprisingly, a vast ocean of experience separates us. Commitment -phobic and at the same time a marriage basher. Good in groups of five of less, any more and she vanishes. Complete loyalist through the thick and thin of the sexual revamp. Body of a petite goddess, face of a model, a sheer get up and go attitude to sex. Self-confessed unapologetic home-wrecker and bunny boiler, though, she could have any wo/man she wanted (The Dame often drools over Desdemona unashamedly) so what does it matter. Lessons to learn: Sometimes happiness is within your control. Sometimes people need a chance. Sometimes you don't know what's best for you. And yes, no excuses for a bad fuck (we are both firm on this one).
Ophelia:
An unslag (though a fully fledged member of the slag society). She and I melt quite comfortably into each other. Beneath the calm waters lies a tornado of seedy gratification. She's the sort of girl who wouldn't mind a dirty weekend as long as it was in the Dorchester. The seedier the better I say. Looks like a voluptuous eastern temptress. A few drinks and will flirt like there's no tomorrow. A sexuality that is calm and controlled, until the Gin comes out (both her and I love our Gin you see). Lessons to learn: Talking about sex isn't the same as doing it. Talking about whores won't make you one. I understand that sex isn't always easy to discuss, though sometimes its nice to let it ooze and flow (full of puns today).
Arthur:
Addict (of life). Founder of the London Bridge Drugs Circuit. Soho Mentor. Man of three dicks. Dick 1, for his girlfriend. Dick 2, for everybody else. Dick three, something long and curved resembling a five pound note which he sticks up his nose every so often. I so admire him, and he does have a wicked fashion sense. And he's probably the most 'open' on this list. There isn't much he has left to prod, inject or smoke (apart from Heroine; apparently it's 'really filthy nasty stuff'. I sometimes wonder whether Arthur knows who he's talking to. Looks like he belongs on the runway, and the perfect example that well dressed doesn't always equal fag. Lessons to learn: Addiction can sometimes be a bad thing. It takes a master to learn how to deal with his erection and a visionary to know whose hole is the right one.
M:
Never met M. Though have known M for 5 almost 6 years. Phone sex buddy (master in the truest form). A scientist. Finds ultimate satisfaction in winding me up and pissing me off (no..Take your mind out of the gutter!), cyber sex through to phone sex, knows how to make me come and taught me how to make others come. M is the fueller of my imagination. M also has a boyfriend (we phone-hump when he's at work). M wants my dick and I want M. Looks, well I have seen a photo, but wouldn't like to comment. If I said Next plc and casual trendy, you'd know exactly what I was saying. Lessons to learn: being greedy can sometimes make you sick. Even 'I' know how to win an argument. It doesn't look professional when you say you hate lying and continue to live the biggest lie of all.
Othello:
Desdemona's man. A man who has recently graduated with a distinction in Taming the Beast (that is Dessie) diploma. Cares for her a great deal. A slag in the making. Mental note: must catch up with Othello.
Adriana:
The three-prong methodical girl, super intelligent, genuinely nice. Don't you hate her already? Haven't spoken of her yet, though will do shortly.
Cordelia:
Yet to make an appearance. Have known her the longest, nine years. School together, college together, traveling together, very similar, though so different. Cordelia doesn't know that I write about her. Not sure if she ever will. The people closest to you are often the hardest people to confide in. Funny that.
Mercutio:
Hater of formal education, though wiser than Prince Harry. Friend from when I used to hang up socks in a posh department store. Looks that many women have fallen prey to. Silver tongue and probably a good cunnilingus provider. Further mentions to follow.
The Dame:
Lesbian (though am trying to rub the slate clean).Friend of many years, fellow pioneer of the lose-all-sexual-inhibitions-without-fear-of-the-Lord revolution. Slag of the mind, and on a journey to becoming a slag of the body, minutes before she is catapulted into sainthood and becomes a slag of the soul. Can't do a push up, though will try everything at least once. Also, not into red meat (now, that's clearly wrong on many many levels). Looks like a hip lesbian cross bred with a polite glue sniffer. Lessons to learn: All comes to those who actively go out and get it. The longer your vagina remains unprodded, the longer your confidence will suffer. Go out and embrace obsessively.
Desdemona:
A true slag, uninhibited, wonderful. Very similar to me on the sex level. Though, quite surprisingly, a vast ocean of experience separates us. Commitment -phobic and at the same time a marriage basher. Good in groups of five of less, any more and she vanishes. Complete loyalist through the thick and thin of the sexual revamp. Body of a petite goddess, face of a model, a sheer get up and go attitude to sex. Self-confessed unapologetic home-wrecker and bunny boiler, though, she could have any wo/man she wanted (The Dame often drools over Desdemona unashamedly) so what does it matter. Lessons to learn: Sometimes happiness is within your control. Sometimes people need a chance. Sometimes you don't know what's best for you. And yes, no excuses for a bad fuck (we are both firm on this one).
Ophelia:
An unslag (though a fully fledged member of the slag society). She and I melt quite comfortably into each other. Beneath the calm waters lies a tornado of seedy gratification. She's the sort of girl who wouldn't mind a dirty weekend as long as it was in the Dorchester. The seedier the better I say. Looks like a voluptuous eastern temptress. A few drinks and will flirt like there's no tomorrow. A sexuality that is calm and controlled, until the Gin comes out (both her and I love our Gin you see). Lessons to learn: Talking about sex isn't the same as doing it. Talking about whores won't make you one. I understand that sex isn't always easy to discuss, though sometimes its nice to let it ooze and flow (full of puns today).
Arthur:
Addict (of life). Founder of the London Bridge Drugs Circuit. Soho Mentor. Man of three dicks. Dick 1, for his girlfriend. Dick 2, for everybody else. Dick three, something long and curved resembling a five pound note which he sticks up his nose every so often. I so admire him, and he does have a wicked fashion sense. And he's probably the most 'open' on this list. There isn't much he has left to prod, inject or smoke (apart from Heroine; apparently it's 'really filthy nasty stuff'. I sometimes wonder whether Arthur knows who he's talking to. Looks like he belongs on the runway, and the perfect example that well dressed doesn't always equal fag. Lessons to learn: Addiction can sometimes be a bad thing. It takes a master to learn how to deal with his erection and a visionary to know whose hole is the right one.
M:
Never met M. Though have known M for 5 almost 6 years. Phone sex buddy (master in the truest form). A scientist. Finds ultimate satisfaction in winding me up and pissing me off (no..Take your mind out of the gutter!), cyber sex through to phone sex, knows how to make me come and taught me how to make others come. M is the fueller of my imagination. M also has a boyfriend (we phone-hump when he's at work). M wants my dick and I want M. Looks, well I have seen a photo, but wouldn't like to comment. If I said Next plc and casual trendy, you'd know exactly what I was saying. Lessons to learn: being greedy can sometimes make you sick. Even 'I' know how to win an argument. It doesn't look professional when you say you hate lying and continue to live the biggest lie of all.
Othello:
Desdemona's man. A man who has recently graduated with a distinction in Taming the Beast (that is Dessie) diploma. Cares for her a great deal. A slag in the making. Mental note: must catch up with Othello.
Adriana:
The three-prong methodical girl, super intelligent, genuinely nice. Don't you hate her already? Haven't spoken of her yet, though will do shortly.
Cordelia:
Yet to make an appearance. Have known her the longest, nine years. School together, college together, traveling together, very similar, though so different. Cordelia doesn't know that I write about her. Not sure if she ever will. The people closest to you are often the hardest people to confide in. Funny that.
Mercutio:
Hater of formal education, though wiser than Prince Harry. Friend from when I used to hang up socks in a posh department store. Looks that many women have fallen prey to. Silver tongue and probably a good cunnilingus provider. Further mentions to follow.
C1 and C2:
Two strict Christians who I study alongside. C1 has only ever watched one film certified 18. No sex before marriage. Bible school. It's funny how these people gravitate towards me.
Lady Macbeth:
One of those half Australian half English older powerful feisty women who I met on my travels, who is currently traipsing around the world yet again, who I admire and am scared of in equal measures. Danger can be such an exciting thing. She'll crop up in due course, fear not.
[Act Two Scene 1 begins]
4 comments:
Think I'd better start acting like the true professional that I am :-s Exit stage left (again!)
Professional what M?
Liar, it appears :-(
M you say this like it is an insult on your character. I have never met you so please don't feel like I am judging you in any way BUT isn't that fundamentally what you are?
Please don't get me wrong, I don't think that what you are doing is necessarily wrong. With the exception of my current partner, there isn't a boyfriend I haven't cheated on or lied to on many occasions. I have been cheated on and lied to and I have also spent a long period of my life being 'the other woman'.
Aren't we all liars in some way? I don't believe that anyone on this planet has never told a lie no matter how big or small. The difference between you and the others is that you are good at it and you're not bringing any direct harm to anyone around you. I'm not saying that you should be proud to be a liar but what I am saying is that if you are going to lead the life that you do and take part in the things that you do then please please please accept the consequences and the stigma that goes along with it.
I think you know that you are having your cake and eating it and I applaud you for it, I have done it myself and if I didn't feel the way I do about my boyfriend then I can honestly assure you that I would be doing it again and agian and again.
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