Blessings

The careers advisor (yes readers, even I have to visit those people occassionally) offered me some words of wisdom. What an intelligent lady she is.

'Each rejection is a blessing in disguise.'

Yes, it is. It really is. Each time somebody says no, and sometimes when you want it so badly, you never quite get over feeling utter rejection. But rejection is all a part of the learning curve. And success is never ever far away.

Just imagine, that job you might have wanted, had you been offered it, you would have been working you long and hard, awful hours with a bunch of asexual ponies. Somebody might have filed a sexual harrassment suit against you, made your life hell (well...almost)

And it's the exact same for relationships. If every person you'd tried to pull said yes, you'd be a happy bunny, but you'd probably have a few stalkers too, and maybe an STD or five. So, it's a good thing to try as long as you don't expect to succeed each and every time. There is fruit even in failure afterall.

Moving on...

I have made two new friends. Two religious christian girls. Not quite sure how i attracted them, but...
No sex before marriage (ugh),
and only relationships with fellow strict christians (yikes).
The Da Vinci code is wrong (ugh),
Bible school (sexy).

It seems like the Lord has it in for me. I've done a full circle. The virgin became a whore who then became a virgin. And did I mention, next week I'm marrying a nun.

In all fairness, what we have here are two girls who don't crave sex the way I do. They never feel as though they're about to burst the next time anybody good looking pops onto the tele. The are goddesses of control. And I still maintain that control is a bloody good thing.

So, as we were speaking over lunch, an image of myself a few years back flashed in front of my eyes. Was it really so bad to wear virginity as a badge of pride? no, it wasn't. At times, my self belief saved me. Virginity was my saviour. It's funny how the creator can also be the destroyer. But then, if the creator can't destroy, who on earth can?

What would it mean to be asexual. To not think about sex every two hours? Would I be happier chappy without the possibilty of sex? Absolutely not. I'm far past the breaking point. And I'm having too much of a good time. The thing about sex is that it's fun. You lose yourself for a brief trickle of time. And if life were one big orgasm, I think I'd be afraid to die.

I suppose the lesson I've learnt about myself, is that i'm now at the point where a thousands nuns could light candles and chant hymns around me until the neighbourhood watch had them arrested. And i'd still be just as eager to have at myself once I got back from the police station.