Gejection

The Dame and I are going to G-A-Y (the club) in central London tomorrow night. Lilly Allen will be performing. The polluted genius will be wonderful to watch I'm sure.

What it must be to feel as unapologetic as she, about her life, about who she is. A great role model, somebody with utter conviction.

So, earlier today I was given the task of purchasing tickets for this event. And yes, I wondered up and down Old Compton Street (where G-A-Y the bar is located) before I spotted it, luminous, bright, and surprisingly, full of attractive people. I suppose the Lord has heard my plea and banished all the plus 50, tank-top wearing, wrinkly sexpots from the world! Fantastic!

As I asked a guy behind the bar (and there were lots of guys), he smiled, rather obviously taking a shine to the visionary (afterall, who can blame him..?) and went to the back to fish out the tickets. In the space of what must have been two minutes another guy thought it would be appropriate to inform me that they don't normally sell tickets to those who aren't 'regulars'.

Let me get this straight. So, I have to be a regular attendee of GAY to be entitled to tickets (which I'm paying for).

What clearly frustated the man further was my enquiring as to the whereabouts of the actual club. He looked at me with those beady gay eyes, as though my gay betrayal had made its way deep into his soul. This guy was really offended.

'We certainly don't sell tickets to strangers who don't even know where the club is.'
'Come on mate' was th only response I could muster. Maybe I should have flirted at this point, but I was tired. A quick kiss may have worked wonders. I might even have obtained free entry!

And so, this is how I was welcomed into the gay community. Charming. And tomorrow evening, if I don't get atleast 12 phone numbers in my back pocket, I shall be lodging an official complaint against the Gay Bureau of Discrimination. I simply won't be rejected by the Gay Community. They want me and they know it.

Right, I'm shattered. Will Write something tomorrow during the day. Hope all the readers are doing well, ploughing through sex and substance quicker than you can say cum. I'm glad to hear it.