Spent a lot of today researching (now you know just how seriously I take our relationship).
Yesterday I came across a personel ad in www.gumtree.com . Let's stick to the gay theme. If the following ad is anything to go by, I think some gay men seem to be having the horniest time of their life.
Let me explain..
So we all know about role playing, and I'm sure many of you my dear readers have played doctors and nurses. After all, which nurse doesnt like a good old spanking with a stethoscope? But the following advertisements show us that some people are incredibly seedy in the mind. And sex for them is so thought out, so complex (and rightly so). Let's go on a journey to discover what these men truly want, let's scrape back the words and reveal the filth.
''Gay strict and active professional looking for a live-in houseboy for Bethnal Green (travel zone 2) - become a part of this unusual household.
YOU GET: room, board, pocket money
I GET: housework done; shopping taken care of - trips to Tesco Sainbury''s Lidl and Netto;
Perhaps I get a bit more than that by of FUN!
Would suit foreign student learning english maybe - as would allow plenty of free time.
Sissy boy''s more than welcome to apply!
Apply by e-mail with full details including picture(s)(if possible)''
First and foremost, what exactly is a 'Gay strict and active professional'? Is it a gay man who also works? A gay man who is a complete woman-hater who is very horny? A wealthy rent boy with a wife and 2.4 children?
'Looking for a live-in houseboy' - this bit is pretty clear. 'Become a part of this unusual household' does this indicate more than one person who would derive pleasure from having a live in houseboy? Maybe it's a family of sexual beasts who wants a sex slave?
And the successful applicant will get 'a room, board and pocket money' How much pocket money? That's what i'd like to know. Would it buy the boy a happy meal? and would they let him keep the toy?
'I get shopping done' . My oh my, this man certainly shops til he drops and must find it thrilling walking through four supermarkets comparing prices before he comes home and takes out his frustations on the poor live-in houseboy! My advice to this fellow is to go to Lidl, as it's cheaper every time. And it's foriegn, just like the houseboy will be. There's nothing like sticking to a theme. Another observation: this man can't be very wealthy as wealthy folk are unlikely to know what Lidl is especially when Waitrose is so nearby. So there's the live-in houseboy's dreams of decent pocket money down the drain.
And now for the sex: 'Maybe i get more than that by way of fun'
I wish these sexual advertisements would be a bit more clear. It's like the job description from hell - 'you may be required to undertake other duties also'. Is the guy expected to surrender completely. Does he want a submissive? Or does he want a whore who will obey ever order? I suddenly start to wonder what the wage for this might be? And also, I can see the pocket money rising higher and higher.
'Would suit foreign student learning English maybe- as will have lots of free time.' So, let's thing, shopping in four supermarkets, cleaning the house, looking after the unusual household, surrending to a household full of sexual urges (not sure about this bit) and learning English as a foreign language too. Can't see there being too much free time remaining can you?
'Sissy boys more than welcome to apply'
What exactly is a sissy boy? I won't even try to dissect this one. It's below me.
And ofcourse, this is an application process let's not forget. I will tell you just how tedious and boring applications for jobs are. And now look, we have to apply even if all we want is to have our end away. Whatever next, a psychometric and numerical reasoning exercise? On a serious note however, I wonder exactly how this man intends on short listing. If you are the person who created this piece of art, please forward on all details.
So let's summarise.
A man is looking for a sissy boy who will be a whore in every possible way for him and his family for a room, food and pocket money. The guy must provide fun as and when required and shouldn't speak a word of english though be willing to try. Even I can teach you how to say the words 'yes' 'good' 'harder' 'coming'. And let's not forget the shopping (in four supermarkets).
So, any offers?
No comments:
Post a Comment