Two sides of the coin

Ever since I met (the bloke who looks like)Tom Ford at the Sauna, I've wanted to meet for sex again. It hasn't happened, and I think he's interested, but I'm quickly coming to realise that I'll need to curtail my sexual ambitions until I'm in the same room with him.

Now, let's analyse this: He has yet to say the word 'Sauna' and prefers to refer to it as 'that' place. Fine, perhaps a little prudish. What I fail to understand is why a man, in his thirties, who attends saunas on a regular basis, is so coy about them. He also refers to sex as 'Hanky Panky'. Now, this is something I can't seem to grasp. At all.

'I find it both endearing and weird that you refer to sex as 'hanky panky' and to saunas as 'that place' I said, last night over the telephone. Incidentally, he'd just returned from Up North and went to the Sauna as it was en route.

'Well you never know who's listening in to our conversations' he said.

'When I say 'that' place, you know what I'm talking about and so do I'.

Paranoia. Of the severest order? I'm afraid I forgot to ask whether he had any underlying connections with the CIA.

The thing is, whenever we talk, it's late at night, because we both lead 'London Lives'. And last week I let him go because, well, people need their sleep. But last night it seemed as though he couldn't wait to get off the phone. As he was saying goodbye he made a joke about 'banging one out before bed' (why do people say these pubescent things?)

And then we digressed into a conversation about Camilla Parker Bowles and our mutual appreciation of her, me declaring my love and him declaring that the Church of England was founded on divorce and that he didn't understand why people objected to the marriage.

Anyways, so I could tell he wanted to go, but the 'bang one out' comment pushed me to ask whether he was into phone sex. Now, my saying this wasn't really a ploy to get him to fall prey to my imagination and bang one out over the phone - in my mind, all I'd asked was a question. I was curious. Earlier on when I'd asked him about any fetishes, he said he's rather not talk about 'that' over the phone.

'I need to go to bed now, goodnight'. And he was gone. I couldn't even get a word in. It was almost as if I'd offended him.

Now, I'm all for people being reserved and am able to appreciate when I should tone things down, but when you meet somebody at a Sauna for sex and they take your number, is it so wrong to assume that they probably won't mind talking a little bit about sex once the Sauna door is closed behind them?

Perhaps I'm wrong and perhaps my sexual prowess is simply too much for some people, but to avoid the issues and swerve away in any other direction is not only unnecessary, but rude.

The texts are done from my side. If he writes anything, I'll respond, but Tom ford has to realise that I'm a sexual, breathing and often hungry individual. And that I wouldn't mind shutting up, as long as he tells me to.