Rampant

Home at 4am on Saturday morning

Went to bed and got up at 11am

Washed dishes and cleaned the flat, making myself a snack along the way

1pm, off to my Cinema Group (now that I host one of my own) to watch 'Eastern Promises'. Film = Amazing.

Back home for 6.30pm in time for a meal of Toad in the Hole, roasted potato wedges and lashings of gravy. A true perk of living with a culinary queen/fellow foodie.

Then, back out to catch a film 'Talk to me' at the London Film Festival. Yet again, another red carpet event, celebrities everywhere and there was I.

A hilarious film which taught me a lot about a man of whom I had no prior knowledge - Petey Greene

Home at 11.30pm and in time to meet Lady Capulet and Lady Montague and their respective BoyFs for drinks in Clapham.

'Did you watch that programme the other night on Channel five? Something about sex? They showed full blown hardcore penetration. If you want to stop your man cumming too quickly, you make him withdraw moments before the climax, grab the base of the bell-end and press firmly using your thumb and second finger. Slowly the erection will be lost, as will his desire to squirt'. I said, five minutes after seeing them.

To demonstrate the point, I did, of course, also draw an accompanying diagram.

Needless to say, it was a great night out.