Confessions

So there is more to Gumtree than people with clear, often controversial sexual perversions - not that these are a bad thing, but it's nice to discover something even quirkier.

Note: Work is definitely not busy these days and I spent an awful lot of time refreshing the Face book page and writing this blog.

And then, in the middle of all this, I take fullest advantage of the open internet policy and browse Gumtree.

Today I came across a section entitled 'Confessions'. That's correct, people write whatever they feel like confessing.

I've selected a few of these confessions for you to ponder. I didn't realise people had so much going on in their lives. To some, the following may prove to be sad, or worrying (those totting up the cost of sadness for humanity), for me, these are inspirational. People with stories to tell make life worth living after all.

Confession # 1

I'd like to seduce a woman in a relationship with someone else. I'd entertain her, take her out, give her plenty of kinky sex. I can be romantic or down to earth. I can draw her portraits or just photograph her cunt. And each time she'd return home and say "Hello darling, I'm back!

Confession # 2

I confess that my boyfriend admitted last night that he has never loved me and he never will and that he has been cheating on me for the past 4 months. We were together for 4 years! And it came to me as a complete shock, but I didn't shed a single tear because I didn't love him either. I haven't loved anyone since my ex broke my heart. And I think I never will.

Confession # 3

I am heterosexual and don’t fancy men but have had reoccurring dreams and fantasies about sleeping with a she-male, letting her dominate me and doing stuff I couldn’t let my friends know about.
I have even downloaded transsexual porn too to watch in order to try and get it out of my system, although it just makes me worse, Now I really want to try and sleep with one..

Am I the only one? Am I gay even?

Confession # 4

I am the seediest person I know.

Real seedy. I live for smut. And peanut butter sandwiches. But that's another post entirely. Although, I have been known to mix my smutty activities with peanut butter. On occasions. Now I am confused. Maybe it does concern this post. One time I didn't have any peanut butter so I used Nutella. It was a smoother sensation because I like to use crunchy peanut butter. Because I was trying something new I decided to live life on the edge so I wore a swimming cap while I diddled myself with the Nutella. I could smell the hazelnuts. Or was that just my imagination.

All this talk of peanut butter and Nutella is getting me off track...

Today I masturbated at work. No peanut butter or hazelnut or even raw eggs this time though. I just knelt down by the old window, unzipped, spat into the anxious palm of my right hand and diddled myself. Hard for a little bit. Then slow and at leisure. I didn't take my eyes off her for a second. I had no choice, my memory is terrible. I watched as she bent down in those tight pants and gathered more paint on the end of her paintbrush. Then she would stand erect and reach up high and paint showing of her round, slightly chubby ass. Did she know I was watching?

I quickened my pace once more and my wrist, arm and shoulder were working at a frantic pace. I finished myself off while I muttered obscenities at her. Mostly about her father being a used car salesman.

I zipped up. Satisfied. Slightly tired.

I found myself hoping that the old man who lived in the house didn't suspect anything. He is near deaf and even nearer to blind.

Confession # 5

I have a confession to make...which I cant do anywhere else but here... See I’ve been married for a couple of years and my dear hubby has no whatsoever interest in sex or anything related to family matters...He is a very selfish man and only think of himself all the time.

Now I met someone 10 years younger than me, which i never thought would happen....believe it or not, this wasn’t planned. One night we went out in a group but ended up only the two of us together in the car... We had the best sex I’ve had in ages...Best part of it all is that this guy lasts for ever and ever and ever.

Me and my hubby has been separated from bed and table for 8 months already....Do you people think that what I did is wrong...Gee man a women has needs too...and I’m almost sure his doing the same. How does a man survive without sex for so long.

OK to make matters worse I did it about 5 times afterwards, which every time was like being in heaven.

So tell me your opinion....I have asked my so called husband for a divorce but he wont give it to me...because I cook, clean and pay almost everything in the house or around the house...so his got it all nice.

And in the mean time I'll enjoy my Toy boy...which is only in his early twenty's as MUCH as possible

Confession # 6

I hate my ex so much that when I bagged up his clothes after he left I put baby poo in his shoes and in the pockets of his leather trousers, ha ha ha big fat pig

He left them bagged up for ages after too

And I used to clean the toilet and shower head with his toothbrush on a regular basis as he still came to the house that was half his every day just because he was an awkward cunt!

So ha ha I hope you get trapped next time you use the sun beds and roast like a fat pig.