Slag meeting

‘I’m still not completely over the lesbian thing,’ declared Desdemona as she sat beside me and opposite Othello (her boyfriend) and we ordered food, after waiting for...er…ages at the bar that’s part and parcel of ‘Fire and Stone’ restaurant in Covent Garden.

So…she’d still quite like to sleep with a woman and it has long been decided that Desdemona finds woman far more attractive than men. Perhaps she’s a man eating lesbian. Now there’s a thought.

And, why wouldn’t she pursue these homosexual desires? Because she is attached? Probably.

A few entries earlier you may recall my entry on her, shall we say, dismal sex life. I believe it has improved. I believe they, as the most successful of couples do, ‘talked’. In fact, she used, as many women would, a reverse psychology approach.

‘I don’t think it’s working,’
(translation: I don’t want it to be over at all, however feel this is what I should say so that I can then be honest about the dismal sex life when you ask me what precisely is wrong)

‘I think we have become complacent in our relationship. We don’t do things together, we don’t go out, we don’t have sex and when we do it’s nothing above average’ (translation: The sex life is the aspect of this conversation which you know is true and which should now be highlighted in your mind. If we increase the passion and frequency of sex, our relationship will be better. If I am to continue our relationship and marry you eventually, I need the promise of a buzzing sex life, or at the least, a promise of your willingness to try).

Othello (on the subject of adultery and sexual ‘openness’) - ‘I wouldn’t mind watching Desdemona with another woman as this would turn me on’. I couldn’t however deal with her and another man as this would repulse me and she would be cheating.’

Hang on, hang on. I believe both of the actions described above fall within the definitions of adultery. Being with someone, anyone, other than your lover would be seen as cheating. So then, why does the sex of the person with whom your partner is having an affair cause such a distinct reaction?

What Othello was saying was essentially this:

I don’t want you to cheat, but if you do cheat I’ll forgive you as long as it’s with another woman as the negativity of the adultery is somewhat balanced by the levels to which I am turned on. If you cheat with a man, Ill have no pleasure, be racked with jealousy and dump you.

It was at this point that the scent of double standard made its way across my nose. If you think ‘cheating’ is wrong, then the fact that some cheating gives you an erection doesn’t justify your acceptance of it does it?

And what would happen is Desdemona said ‘I want to sleep with this girl and we want to be alone’ (ie. You can bugger off for a few hours). Would Othello like it? No. Would he let her do it? He says yes, though I say no! If she is alone, then he is not being turned on.

On the topic of threesomes, Othello shies away and claims that he is traditional. It should just be you two and nobody else.

Of course, the good thing for Othello is that Desdemona appears to understand where he is coming from and what his definition of tradition encompasses. Given a partner who’d let her dip her nib, sot o speak, in the other ink, I think she’d happily take her chances. But, with Othello, she won’t. Probably because she equally wouldn’t be able to tolerate his straying, even though this may be their mutual decision.

It’s true, love makes us selfish. It fills us with greed and irrational behaviour. It tosses us into the air and, sometimes, catches us when we fall. Whether you fall into the arms of your lover, or of somebody else, is a matter, it would appear, of definitions.

And onto the food: Pizzas at ‘Fire and Stone’ are described so well that you can’t help but expect the world. Unfortunately, they don’t taste as nice as the description and mine was pretty bland. Also, it is a very popular and busy restaurant. Conequently, if you are impatient and hungry, you’d be better off across the road at ‘The gourmet burger kitchen’.