The Filth(y)

‘Tell me about the best sex you’ve ever had?’ I asked Pc X as I lay on my bed, speaking with him last night over the telephone, semi erection in hand.

‘Well, I like doing it in the outdoors’ he confessed giggling nervously afterwards. ‘I can’t believe I’m telling you all of this when I’ve only known you for ten minutes’.

But that’s what makes it fun, I thought to myself.

‘He’s much shyer than I'd imagined, though very down to earth and, as you’ll soon come to realise, full of seedy promise.

‘Outdoors?’ I asked. Great! Another man who likes to do it anywhere but the comfortable single divan.

‘Well, in the park near where I live for example, I’ve done it quite a few times.’

‘So, is it the fact that there’s a chance you might be seen that turns you on, or is it the fact that it’s in the open?’

‘Both.’

‘Are we talking up against a tree or down on the grass?’ I was getting somewhere with this I thought.

And as he spoke about his fantasies more and more, the rise in my trousers gained in stature.

‘I like rough sex,’ he said. By this he means, of course, being the poker and poking hard and fast.
‘That sounds good,’ I said trying desperately to sound un-orgasmic at the prospect of being fucked up against a pine in the local preservation area.

‘I recall a time when my ex came to see me, I closed the door and we couldn’t make it past the hall way without me fucking him on the ground. He had carpet burns to show for it later on.’

‘Mmm.’

‘And tell me what you’d like to do with a guy if there were no boundaries and he was willing to do whatever you wanted,’ I persisted.

‘Kiss him fiercely, rip his clothes off and bend him over the bonnet of my car before I fucked him.’

The promise of good wholesome sex has entranced me, I admit. Is there anything better in life than submitting to a night of earnest fucking from a policeman who turns me on more than he’ll ever know? I think not.

And let’s not forget the admission that Pc X had fucked people in his garden shed, whilst his family slept indoors. Adventurous is most definitely a quality to ask for when on a sexual rampage. Ravenous, Raunchy, Right up my alley way (so to speak).

Mental note: Do dogs ever sleep? Find out. Pc X has a dog who doubles up as a son. Getting his cock out with the dog watching is most certainly a no no. Must think of way around this in the future.