Opening up

Over dinner with Katerina and Belle-de-Bengal (Who, it transpires, is more lovingly referred to in the workplace as 'The Voice of Doom'):

'I've got a lot of men interested in me. Everything's complicated. They all earn less than me and a lot of them have long terms girlfriends. I'd never come between a couple as I have morals'

And now for the science:

A) I've got a lot of men interested in me - This is nice. It's nice to have a selection of men whom you could sleep with. What's not so nice is that, of the men she described, one of them was..ugly, another couldn't get it up or two separate occasions and one of them was, as much I love them, a born again Christian who, Belle de Bengal was positive, wouldn't give her the pounding she so deeply desired. Both Katerina and I agree that a pool of men is better than a couple. Having said this, you might have ten 'minging spags' and three 'romeos', in which case, quality should prevail over quantity.

B) Everything is complicated - It always is. Perhaps because most of these men work alongside her in the same company. Mixing business and pleasure is perfectly doable but more often than not, it's the sluttiest, most uninhibited who can pull this off successfully. Belle de Bengal isn't one of these. She thinks about morals where other people simply think about the cleanest surface, the largest empty office room and their quivering, dripping lady garden.

C) They all earn less than me - Granted, high-flying men are more attractive than milkmen. Hot shot city types, of which the Belle de Bengal has many experiences, are not difficult to find. The trouble is, if they earn much more than her, they ask her to stay at home and plant a few marigolds in between bouts of Loose Women. This, she won't do. When considering a full term relationship I can fully appreciate why somebody might consider salary to be a factor. Indeed, I would. But really, when all we want is a shag. When all we want to do is to feel some body's body up close to ours, their hot breath against our neck, their dirty words in our ears, does it really matter how many zeros come at the end of their salary? I don't think so. And, when considering some body's shagabililty, I for one am not swayed by the size of their wallet. It's more about the size of their bulge. And, if truth be told, anybody can dress up in a suit and look important. I'm more of an overalls man myself.

D) A lot of them have long terms girlfriends. I'd never come between a couple as I have morals - This moral card is played far too many times by far too many people. As humans it's our right, our fundamental right, to try and do things that make us happy. If this means sleeping with a man who has a wife, or a long term 'steady' girf, then so be it. I'll tell you why this is; if you say no, some other girl will say yes, either way, your refusal to engage in infidelity won't save their marriage, for the marriage is well and truly in the well of misery by now. The moment he considered being unfaithful, the deed was more or less done. Therefore, be a good girl and look after yourself will you? When you 'come between' a couple, it's not your fault, remember, it's the person's fault who is being unfaithful. You owe no moral obligation. Let me be clear.

Yesterday I saw a slightly different, more open side to Belle de Bengal, in what she said, what she heard without cringing or looking pale, and the way she behaved. I believe my whoretanical friendship may have had some impact.