Date #1 - Failed Actor

It started with a random poke. I think I've written about this in an earlier entry. He poked me, we chatted, I sent him a few dirty texts and he kept referring to me as a 'horneyfucker'. (Just for the record, it should be spelt horny)

Had a date with a lawyer-cum-actor-cum-novelist-cum-returned lawyer, last night.

Before I even got there, let me be honest, there were a few things about him that really riled me:

a) all over his facebook profile he referred to himself in third person - whether it be quotes from broadsheets stating what a wonderful performance he delivered in one of the two (as far as I can count)crummy plays he's starred in. I just happen to have seen and been unimpressed with both of them. In fact, I told him I hadn't liked them, to which he replied

'yes, they were badly written, but I liked my part and my performance was appreciated'. I HATE this! I hate how people sever themselves from something as soon as it's declared a failure. All of a sudden it's about their role and their performance and nothing to do with the play.

'x has written a novel which his agent is trying to sell at the moment' reads his facebook profile. Big sigh.

b) As you are probably aware by now, he is also somewhat narcissistic. And, as I came to quickly realise, here was a man who had given up his job as a lawyer to pursue creative interests, failed in the five years that he has been trying, and was now returning to the lawyering in order to satisfy his longing for an' ordinary and routine' filled life.

Now, it's not the fact that he failed which pissed me off. No, I think there are great guts in biting the bullet and taking the plunge like he did. It shows verve and ambition. But then, to give up because you fail, that's what pisses me off.

I thought creative people (much like myself) wouldn't give up for fear of being unfaithful to the gift of creation they have been given. I always imagined that if your ambitions were true enough and your dedication was unwavering, that you would push until you had achieved what you set out to. You see, this was my problem with the lawyer-cum-actor-cum-novelist-cum-returned lawyer; He wasn't able to really justify his departure from his passion and refused to 'be taken back to something I've blocked in my mind'. 'Stop trying to convince me, it's all over now' he said at one point. In no way was I trying to persuade him. I was merely engaging in a discussion, the aim of which was to get to know him a little better.

c) I don't find many Asian men attractive, regardless of where in Asia they are from. It's not something I control, my cock simply says no. Mind you, this time around, I gave the lawyer-cum-actor-cum-novelist-cum-returned lawyer a chance. I told myself to stop being silly. But the first sight of his aged skin (for he's 29) and what was clearly dyed hair, was enough to seal the envelope before the letter had even been inserted.

'So tell me about your seedy life' he said, over dinner. In his defence, I should say that he picked a plush Chinese restaurant for our meal and is somewhat well connected to the Indian High Society.

I think he wanted details about my sauna affairs and all matter of other sordid goings on, but I was adamant not to give everything away. This was my attempt to 'play hard to get'.

I told him what I had to.

'Those texts you sent me...they were soo...explicit...and...you didn't even know me' he said. Clearly this was his way of saying ' you're a slapper and I was shocked by your attitude'.

'Listen', I said, 'I don't think of sex as something taboo, or a term that should be banded about lightly. I have sex with different people because I want to. And I talk about sex in a very candid way. It's just the way I am. And if people don't like it, they can close their ears or turn the volume up on the Pavarotti.

'You are funny' he continued.

'So, what is your fetish? I ventured.

'I thought I mentioned that on a text. You said we could explore our sexuality together. And I have a thing about feet too'.

Right, so a foot fetish and somebody who hasn't had a blowjob or been fucked.

It's true, I would have explored my sexuality with him, had there been more of an energy between us. Had I wanted to crawl under the table and eat his cock whole. But this didn't happen.

Unsurprisingly, at the end of our meal, it was fairly easy to get away with a promise that we'd 'stay in touch'. I hope to, don't get me wrong. But that's it. Meeting him to explore our sexuality together is something I think I could do without.