The Popcorn Trick

Now here's something interesting/absurd that I haven't yet come across...

Miss '24 and Feisty' and The Philanderer went to the cinema a few weeks ago.

'Have you heard of the Popcorn Trick?' asked The Philanderer.

and this is how he began to describe, in graphic detail, how, some people like to penetrate the bottom of the popcorn box, (whilst at the cinema) with their erect phallus.

Why? So that whenever somebody reaches into the box for the puffs of corn they a) wank him off ever-so-slightly and b) get the food to satisfy their hunger.

Of course, it all seems well and dandy until we consider it more fully...

a) Who can keep it up for the duration of an entire film? All advice gladly welcomed on this matter if you can;
b) Wouldn't it hurt? all that grating of knobbly popcorn against a sensitive skin?
c) Precisely how are we meant to concentrate on two or more acts simultaneously?

so we can all imagine the horror that must have run through Miss '24 and Feisty''s mind when, during the intermission she delved for some popcorn and felt something in amongst the little puffs.

Thankfully, it was only a straw.