At first

The first thing some people look at are the shoes. A friend of mine does this. For good shoes are clearly an early indication of a successful relationship. Personally, it’s those bit fat white trainer/smart shoes with weird designs emblazoned on the front that illicit a no-no.

Some people, in comparison, look at the finer details; teeth, toe nails (though this is rather tricky), and finger nails. Whereas bad teeth doesn’t necessarily indicate a foul kissing experience, or indeed a lack in kissing ability, brown stripes on white teeth don’t exactly…er…make one eager.

Others look at the crotch area. A sizeable bulge and they’re all yours. Some men prefer looking at panties (when they shouldn’t be) as opposed to the fully fledged fanny, as a means towards sexual gratification.

Some look at none of the above and focus on the ‘personality’. These people have the best intentions and, despite this, are left without orgasm. Mind fucking is desirable, of course it is. But occasionally, the orifices also need seeing to.

I… well I look at the neck. I also look for confidence. And then the teeth and shoes. The neck is the most attractive part of any human being Methinks. Long and sensuous. Intelligence is also key. I have always held, and continue to hold that people with intellect and wit can afford to lose so much in the looks department before there is a cry for an emergency.

Oh, and let’s not forget those who look to see whether the boy is ‘Chivalrous’ (whatever wanky bollocks that is) and pays for absolutely everything. Often, the depth of the pocket is no indication of the length of his jim-bom, let this be known.

I guess another thing I look for is equality.