Thoughts

1) Tall, slender men with a good sack are difficult to come by (Jack’s display, or not, on last night’s Big Brother is ample support for this). When I say slender, I don’t mean a broom stick, I mean somebody who matches me. Is it superficial to want a partner who’ll give you the artistic appeal of a perfect couple? Absolutely not.

2) Length over girth: long can often hurt, granted. But stubby trunk can be one of the biggest disappointments you’ll ever suffer. A nice mix of the two is always good enough to play with. I’ve come to think of cocks are objects; toys with which to play, sources of exploration. Like Lego, sort of. If only we could stack one of top of another to build a castle. Science (aka Ann Summers) will find a way I’m positive.

3) Legs of arse? The question on everyone’s lips. Legs that belong to Naomi Campbell (perfectly adjusted to meet my 5 ft 10), figure of Penelope Cruz and then all the panache of Shilpa Shetty. I’d be in heaven were this to materialise. Of course, one can’t help but wonder what the male equivalent might look like. A slightly deformed Alsatian-looking man perhaps?

4) Find somebody with at least a hundred brain cells. We need thought before action, we need art before circumstance, we need brain before bollocks….no really. It would appear I can’t stress this enough. But I believe the firmer brain is a winner hands down. Hats off to the boy who has it all, or girl for that matter.

5) Must set achievable ambitions both for the short term and the long term. First things first, I’ve exhausted the Dame-fanny-want-a-look ambition. She can have it! So here goes:
Win a Literary Award.
Hold an art exhibition and be the new craze for a while, with Naomi Campbell buying some of my works.
Sort out career.
Do things to make myself increasingly happy (being selfish is totally acceptable as long as nobody is hurt in the process).
Partake in an orgy - this one’s a biggie. If anybody would like to go with me, I’d be more than happy to tag along for the ride.

6) What on earth has gotten into Channel 4? All this hoo haa. It’s reality TV. So please, let us watch it and if we complain, deal with it accordingly.

7) Big Brother, Shilpa or Dirk to win. Beauty and brains over thick calculating people anyday.

You know, it’s one of those busy periods. So busy there’s hardly any time to gulp for breath because if you do, you might just miss the last tube home. And that’s why I haven’t been as ‘regular’ with this blog as I may have liked. I do understand that this is a sacred space and try my hardest to respect it. As soon as I have a tad more time I’ll be a daily blogger I promise.

Until then

Ciao