Calories

Received an interesting email earlier today. With some of us counting the points on every morsel we eat, I think it's the perfect time to introduce the calorie burning advantages to sex. This is the biggest incentive for eating what you like and well, fucking what you like too.

Calories Burned During Sex:

REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent.................................12 Calories
Without her consent...........................2,187 Calories

OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands.................................. 8 Calories
With one hand....................................12 Calories
With your teeth.................................485 Calories

PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection..................................6 Calories
Without an erection ............................3,315 Calories

POSITIONS:
Missionary...................................12 Calories
69 lying down...............................78 Calories
69 standing up..............................812 Calories
Wheelbarrow................................216 Calories
Doggy Style..................................326 Calories
Italian chandelier..........................2,912 Calories

ORGASMS:
Real........................................112 Calories
Fake..........................................1,315 Calories

POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging... ............................18 Calories
Getting up immediately.........................36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately...816 Calories

GETTING A SECOND ERECTION:
If you are:
20-29 years......................................36 Calories
30-39 years......................................80 Calories
40-49 years.....................................124 Calories
50-59 years...................................1,972 Calories
60-69 years...................................7,916 Calories
70 and over........................Results are still pending

DRESSING AFTERWARDS:
Calmly..........................................32 Calories
In a hurry.......................................98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door..........5,218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door..........13,521 Calories
Results may vary.

Of course, the biggest question posed by this information is what on earth an Italian Chandelier is.

Any ideas?