Spurt (pun intended)

A week to go and the exams'll be over. That's correct, revision over.

In the past month I had -

1) very little in terms of sex (of any definition),

2) bouts of revision induced depression,

3) great enjoyment from and now a sadness at the finale of The Apprentice and Desperate Housewives. I fear I may have to get myself a life,

4) great amounts of love, lust and almost an erection for Katie from The Apprentice. Somebody talented, authoritative, sharp and intelligent. So similar we are. In fact, I've never googled a woman so much in my entire life,

5) a series of raging often painful and mostly pointless and disheartening erections with nowhere to put them. This, once I'm able, will be on the hot list of things to do (the pun, as ever, is intended)

6) limited conversations with The Dame, Ophelia and Desdemona as a consequence of our busy lives. Next week and the slag parties shall be in full swing

7) Sadness that Tony Blair is leaving and happiness that Camilla might one day be my Queen

8) Happiness after that Opera Singer clinched a Royal Variety Performance after winning that talent show

9) Sadness because my conversations with M have become limited. fitting into our totally asexual friendship was perfectly fine. Maintaining our relationship when M doesn't have much to say may prove rather difficult

10) sadness at Desdemona's comment that my voice has developed a London 'twang' and that I don't sound as 'posh I used to'. Ouch!