Norwegian

The Norwegian called. Yes, that blast from the past who wouldn't open up his hole for a stranger, that cock tease, that fuck De la mind.

It's almost like finding a cat turd behind your sofa, only you could have sworn you'd thrown it away only last week. How did it reappear. And, perhaps most importantly, how did a cat turd manage to make its way into a house without there being any cats?

'I thought I'd say Merry Christmas. I'm the much hated lying Norwegian' confessed he. He then talked about returning to Norway for Christmas, leaving his job and possible plans for never coming back. Christmas may have come early indeed.

So, after ten minutes of forced chatter, he came to the point:

'I was going to send you a Christmas card, I still might do if i get one in return.'
That's strange I thought, perhaps he means an e card. Maybe he's not a bastard after all.
'I can send you a Christmas card over the phone if you'd like'. There it was, the shovel with which to bury him, handed to me on a plate.
'Oh, when you say Christmas card, you mean a photo of my cock for you to jerk over. So that I can say 'Ho Ho Ho' and really mean it?'
'So, will you send me one. At the moment I'm in a very festive mood'.

For purposes of clarity I'll dissect what just happened. A Norwegian bloke called me up quite randomly after many weeks post argument to ask for, wait for it, a photo of my dick, so that he could, wait for it, jerk off. Needless to say, the conversation ended rather quickly afterward.

Ten minutes later: A text

'So, no Christmas Card then?' to which there was no reply.

Two hours later: A text

'If you have put my number up anywhere you are in serious trouble. As this is not legal.'

so of course, this morning, mad mad rush, woke up an hour earlier than planned and traipsed all the way into central London accompanied by a bag of business cards each with a copy of his number, a photo of a sultry lady and the words 'call me' on them.

And to think, had he not been so absurd, the love may have died, just never turned completely rotten.