Back

It’s been AGES, I know.

Fear not, not dead yet, still living and still fucking.

Ah, but so much has happened…and how are you? Still with that twatish boyfriend?

So…

In the time since we last properly spoke, I have had more threesomes than hot dinners, licked about four arseholes, bought some Vivienne Westwood boots and been to a Punjabi wedding (important though somewhat entirely unconnected).

The Dame (yes, she of eternal grace and beauty) insisted that I write again. The intention always was to, mind. And now I have.

About to move out of my current boudoir and into another which homes a cat.

And then there’s all that ‘culcha’; Rohinton Mistry, Tobias Woolf, ‘Her Naked Skin’ at the National, you know the sort. Things are going well.

Oh yes, and there have been two trips:

1) Prague – went with a homosexual and had lots of homosexual experiences. The thing about Prague is that the scene is slightly underground and there are ‘male only’ zones in the gay clubs. Of course I shall be championing the Freedom of Movement and insisting that Britain adopt a similar approach. Heaven and The Shadow Lounge simply aren’t cool enough
2) Vancouver – Bang in the centre of Homosexual street, however, this time travelling with my mother. Scenic, but mellow, if you see what I’m saying. Having said this, the saunas there are dead posh; carpeted floors and everything.

Oh! And Katerina has a new fella (think educated incense sticks), out with the old in with the new.

Othello and Desdemona have separated. Sigh.

The Dame is still with the Actress.

Arthur is still, well Arthur.